This cycle I’ve felt angry, tired, sick, been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count, and finally admitted to myself that it’s okay to cry and punch things and be upset with the situation.
I’ve also felt more love than any human can imagine. The outpouring of love and concern I’ve received over the past four months has been incredible. Sometimes I’ll re-read old Facebook messages when I need a reminder that I can beat this, or I’ll go through the postcards I received in the hospital as a reminder that there are so many things worth fighting for.
The first month I was in the hospital I was in awe that so many people cared enough to reach out- people who I haven’t heard from in over five years were messaging me! And I feel like I haven’t adequately thanked anyone, so hopefully this will do:
Thank you for coming over on the nights I was afraid to be alone, thank you for rubbing my back until I fell asleep, for giving me rides to last minute appointments and for picking me up when I get sprung. Thank you for doing the daily tasks I couldn’t, for being patient with me when walking, for painting my nails, and for giving me lots of hugs.
Thank you for always thinking of my best interest, for taking care of me even when I told you I was fine, for helping me feel normal again, and for enjoying the lazy days in bed when I can’t muster the energy to do much else. Thank you for the well wishes text, the thoughtful messages, the comments, love, and support throughout this whole ordeal.
Thank you for making long drives to see me, for bringing my latest craving, for holding it together on the days I couldn’t, and most importantly for being my pillars of strength.
There is no way I could ever say enough thank yous to all of the amazing people in my life, I only hope you know how much I appreciate you all and how I could not get through this fight without you.