I made it to maintenance!
After nine months of suffering awful chemotherapy treatments, I’m finally on the “easy” path – the one my oncologist has been promising since April 29th, 2014. I have arrived, and dang – it feels good to be a gangster.
Over the past five days, I’ve been on the elliptical machine four times. FOUR TIMES! Do you know how amazing that is after not being able to work out for almost a year? It’s amazing, and I’m finally feeling back to normal. Even my chemo brain is affecting me less, I still sometimes forget what I’m saying mid-sentence but it’s getting easier for me to have a conversation without getting frustrated at myself for forgetting words.
Not sure what I mean? Picture this: You’re having a conversation with someone and mid-way through you forget the word you need to use. You see a bunch of words swimming above your head, but none of them make sense. You can’t remember the definitions or how to even say them.
It’s been so frustrating to write because I can’t remember words I used to use all the time. But slowly, on this new cycle (which will last for another year and seven months), I’m starting to hear and see things clearer. It’s becoming easier to have conversations and write again. I’m feeling normal. Something before all of this I would’ve scoffed at – who wants to be normal anyway?
Every day I’m getting stronger, both mentally and physically. While I know the past nine months (and the rest of maintenance) will always be a part of me it’s reassuring that I can feel like my old self again. I can’t wait for that time in my life where I can casually look back at this whole experience as a distant memory, only being able to focus on the amazing people I’ve met and new friends I’ve made along the way.