Holy crap. I’ve been in this joint for 33 days.
I can’t believe today is the last day of my induction cycle – the first part of my year-long chemo filled journey. I try not to think a lot about my first two days in here because they were such a mess of an introduction into this whole …adventure.
So much has changed. I feel like the way I look at the world, the little things that used to bother me, people who I thought would always be there, so much has just changed. It’s crazy, I always thought I knew what life had in store for me. Or at least that I had some plan ahead.
But a lot of what I thought I wanted, I don’t want anymore.
Since finishing my first cycle I’ve started doing some research. Probably research I shouldn’t be doing. If I hadn’t gone to the doctors on March 27th there is a good chance I wouldn’t be alive now, acute leukemia works fast. As awful as these 33 days have been I’m so thankful for a second chance at life.
I don’t know where I’m going to go from here, or what my next plans are career wise. All I’m doing is taking one day at a time. Constantly asking myself “What will make me happy?” – and doing things to help answer that question. As I sit and wait until I find out the results of the Bone Marrow test results (and try not to stress out) I’m not going to think ahead, I’m just going to focus on the here and now. On getting better. On the fact that my bone marrow will come back all clear. And on the next steps of this long journey.
Because that’s what my life is for the next year – doctors appointments, chemotherapy, and getting better. My induction into chemotherapy and treatment may be complete, but my year is just beginning.